Watching for the Kingfisher…

“Prayer is like watching for the Kingfisher.
All you can do is
Be where he is likely to appear, and
Wait.
Often, nothing much happens;
There is space, silence and
Expectancy.
No visible sign, only the
Knowledge that he’s been there
And may come again.
Seeing or not seeing cease to matter,
You have been prepared.
But sometimes, when you’ve almost
Stopped expecting it,
A flash of brightness
Gives encouragement.”

“Disclosure”, by Ann Lewin – 20th Century

As we watch, as we wait, Lord, keep us focused on the promises you bring. Let not our eyes or minds stray from meeting you and let our lives be changed by simply being in your presence.

 Amen.

Why I love poetry….

Inspired by the fine ladies at Poetry Thursday here are my 153 words or less of why I love poetry.

Poetry, the script of the soul.
The Creator’s lilting refrain
resonates.
An inner whirlwind released
forming phrases that speak volumes
to the place I find myself
Poetry; the record
of the wax and wane of our days
Taken on a journey
a walk through wilderness
through mists, over mountains
unchartered terrain
Returning to the comfort of home
the warm fug of the hearth
tender centre of life
the roots to nurture.
One poem restores, reviving like freshly brewed tea
another devastates, the tears fall
Poetry breathes each story
touches heartstrings, mellow as the harp
strikes dramatic chords, the orchestra in full throe
gentle, angry, passionate, calm.
emotions, dreams, longings
poured out on a page
a challenge, a means to inspire
grounding us if cloudbound
lifting us if forlorn
since the beginning these words,
integral to our being,
have encapsulated the state of life.
Poetry is the script of my soul.

Happy Poetry Thursday!!!!

Wanting more ‘things’ than you need

Greed is rife. Whether it is for money, for food, for sex, for possessions, for drink, for just more, more, more; everyone has it in them. Even the word ‘greed’ is ugly! Elongated, slimy, skin crawling sound ‘greeeeeeed’.

Watching people, on the news this week, scavenging on the beach in Devon from the wreck of the MS Napoli, despite the warnings about the hazardous chemicals amongst the floating cargo, taking things that don’t belong to them whilst the environment around them becomes more endangered made me feel really uneasy and a bit sick.

Greed in our culture for possessions or money or fame is often for the sense of security or identity that they bring. This morning on Radio 4, Oliver James was discussing his latest book ‘Affluenza’ and here’s an excerpt from an article published in the Observer about what he has to say:

“ The Affluenza virus is a set of values which increase our vulnerability to psychological distress: placing a high value on acquiring money and possessions, looking good in the eyes of others and wanting to be famous. Many studies have shown that infection with the virus increases your susceptibility to the commonest mental illnesses: depression, anxiety, substance abuse and personality disorder.”

Isn’t that worrying? Greed propels us to do damaging things to ourselves and one another; it is the ‘need’ part of our humanity that has been skewed. We search and crave for the wrong things to satisfy us when Jesus has been there all along, beckoning us to come to Him, to find a home in Him. If we would only allow him, he would provide all the security and identity we would ever require.

I keep thinking about Lent and how I can counteract the effect of greed in my life during that sacred time. I have a couple of ideas, not to be shared as a Lenten promise will between me and God but if you have any suggestions, let me know!

All I want to desire is more of Jesus in my life.

Procrastination is the thief of time…

Cartoon by Dave Walker. Find more cartoons you can freely re-use on your blog at We Blog Cartoons.

I love this cartoon! Is that not just how you feel some days…like today?

Cafe Theology

Soul Food – the small group met last week to plan what they would be doing this term. We have arranged to meet twice a month, on Wednesdays and to study a book

  - Cafe Theology by Michael Lloyd -I am really looking forward to getting stuck in to this book!

To retreat….

 ’Picture: Edenpics.com’

Have you ever gone on retreat?

Jesus did it – he went to be in solitude, to pray and to be with God. It is not a very Western thing to do, absorbed and consumed as we are by information, communication and technology. To retreat; it’s something that I am utterly daunted by yet at the same time intrigued, beguiled. My mind knows that, if I could get past my fears of silence and being alone with my thoughts, I would feel a great peace and I believe God would speak to me – what my heart longs for. Deep down, I’m petrified of being alone with my thoughts, the quiet, lacking company. Fear is a barrier to going away with God. Antony is doing exactly what I don’t yet dare to do.

I have written off for a couple of back copies of a journal ‘Quiet Spaces’ that I am really interested in. I’ll let you know more when I have read them. I am hoping that with some of the articles and direction within them, I would start to create my own quiet space and gently, gradually enable myself to ’retreat’.

 ’In repentance and rest is your salvation,
in quietness and trust is your strength’
Isaiah 30 v.15

Fusilli con salsicce

Just in case you thought I was getting all holy and heavy on you, lets lighten up with a luscious wintery pasta dish that will make you happy.

Ever thought what to do with the remainder of red wine that has almost turned to vinegar? Whack it in a pasta sauce – here we go, I’m cooking this for Beth next week when she comes for dinner!

Serves 4

1 packet of sausages (Debbie and Andrews Sicilian Sausages or any Italian style sausages with fennel seeds in would be good)

250ml red wine

2 tins of  chopped Tomatoes

 400g fusilli

grated parmesan

The gross bit comes first as you have to squeeze the sausagemeat out of the skins onto a chopping board to make small meatballs. There are so many rude jokes that fly round the kitchen when this task is set…need I say more? Then, in a non-stick frying pan, fry these mini sausagemeat balls until browned and cooked through. Add the red wine and reduce the liquid (the alcohol smell goes, the liquid thickens and becomes slightly cloudy) then add the two tins of tomatoes and let this simmer for a good 20 minutes. Meanwhile cook the fusilli acording to the packet’s instructions, drain and serve with the sauce on top and lots of parmesan.

Delicious.

Glimpses of God

Antony at Coming to the Quiet has inspired me to write this post after his latest on the quote from Henri Nouwen ‘“My deepest vocation is to be a witness to the glimpses of God I have been allowed to catch.”

There is a story I wanted to share because it has made my heart burst with the goodness of God. I invited a friend to the wedding ceremony who I used to work with. Dave and I had spent quite a long time planning the ceremony, involving family members (my grandad, an anglican vicar, married us!), friends - particularly some of Dave’s colleagues and former colleagues and members of the congregation; all talented, special people who know God’s grace. We wanted the cermony to reflect the love of God which has shaped us, will help us in our marriage and is the reason we now live. James, the vicar, spoke on the 2 bible passages  and the poem we had chosen; Ecclesiastes ‘ a cord of three strands is not easily broken’, Ephesians 3 v.14-21 and a beautiful translation of some stanzas from Dante’s Divine Comedy:

The love of God, unutterable and perfect, Flows into a pure soul the way that light Rushes into a transparent object. The more love that it finds, the more it gives Itself; so that, as we grow clear and open The more complete the joy of loving is. And the more souls who resonate together, The greater the intensity of their love,

For, mirror-like, each soul reflects the others.

After the service, it was so busy and we got trapped taking photos, I only managed to wave a goodbye to this friend before they left. When we returned from honeymoon, there was a letter from them through our door. They wrote about how the wedding had touched them; the welcome they received in church, the love Dave and I had for each other and the ceremony had really demonstrated to them how powerful God’s love is, how much He loves each one of us, so much so that they felt the faith that had laid dormant in them for a long while was reawakening. This friend is now beginning a journey exploring the love of God for themselves . It was one of the best wedding presents!

Writing a journal 2007

This year, I haven’t made any new year’s resolutions because they are trite and too simple to break. I love the idea of resolving to do something differently but perhaps this time of year, when it is taken as given that you make these promises to yourself, means that there isn’t the personal impetus to make things happen.

However, that said, I said I would be learning  to open my heart more to God and looking for ways to do that.

One of them is writing my journal. 2006 was a year of preparation, distraction for a life-altering event. Marriage. I started my diary and devotions well last January but tailed off mid spring-summer…. to recommence in October, half heartedly and exhausted. I wrote sporadically and only on days when I could summon enough energy to hold a pen before falling asleep, face on the page. The entries then were fairly superficial and particularly mind-numbing.

 This year 2007 is going to be a year to mature in faith, wisdom, experience. I am now doing very ‘grown up’ things (even for a 25 year old!) planning for the future. My commitment, then, is that writing my journal – one of my favourite ways to spend devotional time – must take on a new degree of honesty to God and to myself. Honesty and depth. Not just to be a record of the days comings and goings, what my diary had become but to be more of an open book to God, a sign of commitment to him.

No excuses.

So I’ve told you now, can’t get out of it ‘cos you’re bound to hold me accountable……!

New Year

A new year. A new husband! A new home.

It has been a fantastic couple of weeks. 

The wedding was all we could wish for and more. Much more. Many people commented on the ‘magic’ – the spiritual meaning to our ceremony that touched them – we know God was at work! We were aware of God’s blessing on us that day and the love from friends & family gathered round us. The photos just show us both grinning, elated. The only occasion I felt nervous was just as I entered the church and thought I might cry. I knew that marrying Dave was the right decision – it was a joy to be there.

Our honeymoon to Venice was amazing; the sun shone the whole week and the skies were a brilliant shade of blue that refelected in the water of the lagoon. We had a sweet little apartment in Cannaregio, a quieter sestiere of the city and spent our days meandering the maze-like streets, eating seafood, drinking prosecco and gazing on countless works of art. Fabulous. Some of the highlights were: seeing Casanova’s cell in the Doge’s Palace, climbing up to the Loggia dei cavalli in St Mark’s Basilica to look out at the pigeon infested Piazza, scallops at an amazing restaurant called Vini Da Gigio, seeing the ceiling of the Scuola San Rocco and wine merchants selling good wine for 1 euro per litre – you just brought a bottle for them to fill. Venice is like an ancient theme park with amazing sights to see. Go explore!

Christmas was good, though on my part I didn’t feel particularly festive – maybe I’m just growing old! We drove to see Dave’s family a couple of days before the 25th, in time for his brother’s 18th birthday and that all important dentist appointment! We went to Midnight Mass at the local church, everyone coughing and spluttering with winter colds. After a lie in Christmas morning, we spent half the day with Dave’s family before travelling back to spend the evening with mine. It is now time for Dave and I to start our own rituals. New Year, which is often a let down, was very civilised – dinner with good friends at our flat.

I can’t believe it’s now time to get back to work and to establish a new routine.Married life is great. Dave and I have been in each others company almost 24/7 since 3pm on 9th December, apart from a couple of hours. To be his wife seems so natural. It is bliss being 5 minutes walk from work compared to the hour long slog from my parents home on bus and foot. The flat is slightly cramped with our combined possessions and we’re still awaiting a delivery of more stuff - don’t know where we’ll store it all! People have been so generous towards us both for the wedding and Christmas. We’re overwhelmed.

So here it is, a wonderful start to a promising year. The watercooler chat is all about what New Year’s resolutions to make – I’m too good at breaking them. James’s sermon on New Year’s Eve asked instead ‘What does God want from us this year?’ – a healthy obsession with Him. G.K. Chesterton notes ‘The object of a new year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul.’ So, this year, I will mostly be…….. opening my heart.