Many times you hear sermons about making sacrifices for the sake of the gospel and perhaps you nobly think ‘yes, thats what I want to do’. Then there comes a day when you are asked to make that sacrifice. Unprepared for making that decision to follow the path Jesus is leading you on, you are even less prepared for the aftermath; counting the cost. The personal heartache, the loss of all that is left behind, missing family and friends or the familiarity and homeliness of community, bereft of the identity you have carved for yourself, the impact of surrendering your wishes and desires; all these leave large imprints on the landscape of who you are, like a meteor crashing into earth or a bullet piercing flesh. To compare these feelings to a wound is apt, the sensations are alien, raw, sore, painful.
Recalling a speech of Tony Blair’s after September 11 2001 in which he said ‘The kaleidoscope has been shaken, the pieces are in flux. They will settle.’, these words encapsulate what it is I believe we are going through right now. Having changed our home, our city, our church, our community for a new place, a new challenge, Dave and I are experiencing the discomfort of being unsettled and are wondering about the choices we have made and what we are doing. We know we are where God has called us and in these moments of indecision, we look for reassurance. The words of Psalm 91 in a sermon on Sunday (by a marvellous preacher, David Day) were the quiet calming we need, when scripture puts a lump in your throat or causes tears to form in your eyes because God has shown you he knows about your suffering, he knows where you are and he is with you.
Psalm 91
1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. [a]
2 I will say [b] of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.”
3 Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare
and from the deadly pestilence.
4 He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
5 You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.
7 A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.
8 You will only observe with your eyes
and see the punishment of the wicked.
9 If you make the Most High your dwelling—
even the LORD, who is my refuge-
10 then no harm will befall you,
no disaster will come near your tent.
11 For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;
12 they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
13 You will tread upon the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the serpent.
14 “Because he loves me,” says the LORD, “I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
15 He will call upon me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life will I satisfy him
and show him my salvation.”
David Day said these words are worth memorising for the long dark nights. Maybe this isn’t a long dark night for us, we know of friends and loved ones in far worse circumstances; these words, though, are light and life, hope and comfort for the present time.
